My dad passed away last May, and this is my (proper) tribute to him.

My father died in May of this year, with my sisters and mum with him. I could not be by his side as I live in the UK. As soon as my sister told me, she booked me a ticket to fly home.

His wake was held for a week. My mum was hardly sleeping. We were constantly on our feet entertaining guests and relatives. I was surprised at the number of people who visited. His former colleagues and staff, some older classmates back in his university days, some neighbours in his hometown and our current neighbours. On the last night of his wake, some of our relatives, his former colleagues, shared their fond memories of my dad. My relatives shared how grateful they were for the support that my dad (and my mum) have given to them over the years.

I tried to hide from our guests by being with my friends outside the viewing area. Public speaking scares me. I would freeze in front of people and look awkward. I would speak quickly and sometimes incoherently due to nervousness. An uncle found me outside and told me that my mum was looking for me. I was asked to speak and give tribute to my dad. None of my sisters wanted to speak. I was left without a choice. My mind went into autopilot and shared my favourite memory of him. This memory was a funny one that involved him slipping on the pavement trying to stop my sister and me from playing with water. Afterwards, I stammered and just said ‘ even though my dad was grumpy most of the time, he is still loving and kind’. ‘That’s all’, were the words I said after speaking and then walked away.

I did not think I gave my dad the tribute he deserved so here it is.

He has actively and passively taught us so many things. He was an electrical engineer, and we all know that he was a great one. He was good at maths, and he’d always help us with our homework. He would even help us even though he was not at home. He was reliable and dependable. Unfortunately, I did not inherit his greatness in this subject and I knew that it frustrated him. I even had a zero mark in one of my exams. He was livid. I still made him proud despite this. But this post is not about me.

Being an electrical engineer meant being good at fixing stuff. I remember him fixing various electricals at home and assembling things. For us kids, he was the king of DIY. We would always sit next to him whenever he had something to fix or install. He had inadvertently taught us how to use a screwdriver and pliers. Because of him, we were not the typical females who are clueless about tools.

Our dad taught us how to cook. On Sundays, he would grill meat, fish and vegetables for lunch. We learned to chop, peel vegetables, sauté, etc., from him. Mum knows how to cook but it was hit or miss. Dad’s cooking would always be a hit. We love seafood and he almost always gets seafood on Sundays when they go to the market. He’d peel the shrimp and pick the crab meat out for us.

My choice of music was partly influenced by him. He always has the radio on, and he loves his rock music and ABBA. He would do his dad dance whenever something nice comes up on the radio. He had lots of cassettes (I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s), and we would listen to them on weekends.

My sister became interested in basketball because of my dad. He would take us every Saturday to the basketball near the church when we were little so he can play. We’d always watch him. I have never gotten an interest in playing. My sister is very good at playing basketball and my dad was super proud of her. I was sure he was bragging about this to his friends.

He was our number one supporter. He was always there for me and my sisters. He may look tough and at times scary, but he was generous and kind. He loved a good banter with us. He was my number one protector. He used to defend me against my mum when we have disagreements. He usually takes my side. He always liked my Facebook posts, no matter how silly they were.

My sisters and I were so devastated when we lost him. We missed him so much. We are still not used to not seeing or hearing him. But wherever he is, I hope he is happy and pain-free.